Growing up, I remember always wanting 5 kids. I wanted 3 boys, a girl, and then another boy. I had names picked out already. Among others, I liked Michael, Steven, and Everett the best. I don't think I ever really settled on a girl name that I really loved. Turns out I married a guy who had two really close friends - Michael and Stephen - so those were out. And Everett Wyatt?? Too many t's, I think.
So, my plan so far is panning out. But now that I'm a mom and am living in this moment - do I still want 5 kids? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm on my fourth pregnancy right now, and we plan on just taking it as it comes. No firm decisions just yet. And we've been so blessed.
We have two wonderful sons. They can get loud and rough, but they can also be so sweet and sensitive. And the relationship between a mother and son is precious. (I know father and son relationships are precious too - they're just different. With us, it's more emotional. With the dads, it's more physical.)
Southern can tell if I'm ever sad, and he'll hug and kiss me. Then he'll ask if his kisses made me happy. And, of course, the answer is always yes. How could they not? He also likes to snuggle. At bedtime, he'll always ask me to hold and rock him. I know I won't always be doing that so I try to take advantage of it as often as possible. We'll rock in the dark listening to his sleepytime music. And he has this little head nudge that he does (Dustin does the exact same thing!!) when I'm on the couch. He'll climb up next to me and rub the top of his head on my shoulder or chest as he settles in.
And Remington has always been our little Mama's boy. He too likes to hold my hand, but with him, it's more often than Southern - especially when we're out in public. But he also likes to walk around the house holding my hand too. And he likes to snuggle and rock as well, all while sucking his thumb. His first word was Mommy.
So have I "missed out" by not having a daughter? Not at all. I'm thinking everyone else has missed out by not having my boys! ;) I know I'm biased, but they're so beautiful. And they're such good friends. They do everything together - and want to. When one wakes up in the morning, the first thing they want to do is go check on the other. They play so well together and really enjoy each other's company. It's been great having these two.
And I'm still able to shop for cute clothes and dress them up. (No, I probably don't buy as much since there are no frilly dresses to worry about - but that just means I get to spend more time and money buying dresses for myself! haha). They like to go to Hobby Lobby with me and pick out fabric. They like to go shopping with me anywhere really. They've had a blast at Target, Kohl's, and Victoria's Secret. Southern will even pick out different clothes to show me what he thinks I may like (he was showing me different panties at VS!). They like to help me in the kitchen. So they're doing (and enjoying) all of the things a daughter and mother would. They just pick out racecar and football fabric instead of butterflies and flowers. But that's unimportant.
Plus, I'm thinking ahead to those milestones - getting your period, trying on bras, getting dumped by your boyfriend, not getting asked to prom, etc. - that we won't have to worry about. And think how much we'll save on weddings!!
But, if we were to have a girl next, we would certainly embrace the change of pace. I've never really wanted more than one girl though, so that may affect our how-many-kids-to-have decision. I'm not trying to paint out a picture that daughters are horrible - I am one! - and I know my niece has been pretty awesome! ;) But I'm just suited well for my guys. (And we do have so many cute clothes in storage just waiting for another little boy to wear them.)
So... it's up to God. It's His plan. And He will do what's best for us when the time comes.
Right now I'm living my "best" as the mother of these two boys.
